Saying Goodbye for Now to Our Beautiful Boy

A few days ago, Chad and I had to say good-bye to our precious boy Eli.

Every time I walk outside and feel the breeze against my face, I feel a little closer to him. Every time I hear a bird singing or sit quietly in the morning sun, I feel him there. And I hope I feel that way for the rest of my life.

It's taken me days to write this.

As much as my heart hurts there is also an incredible amount of peace. Because he told me he was ready, and I listened.

For almost 15 years, I had the privilege of loving one of the purest souls I have ever known. Eli was woven into nearly every chapter of my adult life. He knew versions of me that no one else ever will. He walked beside me through some of my happiest days and carried me through some of my hardest ones.

There was something different about Eli. If you knew him, I think you knew that.

He was gentle, ridiculously funny, obsessed with food, loved his naps in the sun, and if he managed to get on top of you on the couch, you knew you weren’t moving for a while. Almost every morning, he would climb onto the bed, put his head against mine and tell me good morning. I can’t imagine a better way to start my day.

There was an innocence and goodness in him that I don’t know how to explain.

He was just pure.

And when he needed me most, I was able to keep the promise I had always made to him—to protect him, even when doing so meant breaking my own heart. 

I got to keep him from suffering. I got to have him at home, right beside me, and watch him become the most peaceful version of himself before he crossed over. My brave boy rested so deeply and calmly next to me, almost as if he were already somewhere between here and heaven. There was no fear. Just peace. And we had the greatest honor of walking my beautiful boy all the way home.

I will never take that moment for granted. I have thanked God every day since for giving us that beautiful ending.

Eli is a huge part of the reason I became the person I am today and why I have spent so much of my life trying to help dogs live healthier, longer lives. So much of what I know, what I believe, what I fight for and what I have built has his paw prints all over it.

What a privilege it was to have been his person for 14 years.

Thank you for choosing me, Eli. Thank you for trusting me. Thank you for growing up with me and growing old with me. Thank you for being my constant, our best boy, and one of the greatest loves of my entire life.

Until we can see you again, I’ll keep finding you in all the beautiful little places that remind me you’re still near.

You’ll always be my precious ginger prince. Goodbye for now, we love you forever and always.