An Update from My Heart
This post was supposed to be an update — to share how well Tink had been doing, to let you know that I was planning to spend more time with her, and that I would be pulling back just a little so I could be present with her. But I never got the chance to share that. Everything changed so quickly on Sunday morning, August 31, when I had to say goodbye to my precious girl.
This isn’t the post I thought I’d be writing, but instead it has become a space to honor her, to grieve, and to remember the light she was in my life. That’s why I chose this picture of her from last Wednesday at her therapy appointment at Bonded Hearts Veterinary Care. She was so vibrant, so happy, and so full of herself that day — and that is how I want to remember her. I want to thank Dr. Cooley, Sarah, and Paula at Bonded Hearts for being such a valuable part of her team and for showing her so much love and compassion each week. Tink adored her therapy visits, and they gave her and me such special time together. And of course, a big thank you to my friend and primary veterinarian, Dr. Nicole Metcalf, for all of the years of love and support. I could not have supported Tink the way I did without her care and guidance.
Even though I had been preparing myself in some ways — because we knew she was sick — I wasn’t prepared for this. I thought I’d have more time with her. I thought we would get to check off a few “bucket list” items together. Instead, I woke up to find her in crisis and had to rush her to the emergency vet. After speaking with her veterinarian, it sounds like she may have thrown a clot or possibly suffered a stroke. It happened so suddenly, and so much faster than I had planned for.
I’m trying to make peace with it. When we start preparing ourselves for this day, I think we all just hope it will be calm and peaceful, not traumatic. Unfortunately, it was not as peaceful as I had hoped being at the emergency vet, but I am so grateful to the staff at Steel City for honoring my request to be outside. We were able to take her into the sunshine, lay her in the grass, and let her go in the bright, beautiful light she loved so much. For that, I am deeply thankful. Still, I can’t tell you how much my heart is hurting. I will need time to process this loss and to be alongside my other dogs as we grieve together and adjust to this enormous shift in our home. Tink was such a big personality — she filled every room she was in. Her absence has left a void that feels impossible to put into words.
Canine herbalist Rita Hogan once said during a training on grief, “you cannot have love without grief, and you cannot have grief without love.” It sounds simple, but it’s profoundly true. When we grieve this hard, it’s only because we have loved so deeply. What an honor and a privilege it has been to love Tink so fiercely for the past 12 years. Losing her is a big loss — because she was my family, my teacher, my companion in every moment of my life.
I also want to hold space for this kind of grief, because society doesn’t always make room for it. The loss of a pet is sometimes treated as “less than,” as if only human loss deserves that depth of sorrow. But if you’ve ever loved a dog with your whole heart, you know this grief is every bit as real, every bit as devastating. In truth, many of us love our animals more purely and more fully than we love most people. And that’s why their absence is so enormous. Please know — if you’ve ever felt this kind of pain — your grief is real, and it matters. Our animals are some of the most precious souls on this earth, and when they go, it’s natural for our hearts to break wide open.
I am actively taking some time to process my grief, support my other dogs through this dynamic shift in our home, and help Eli as he mourns the loss of his best friend who has been by his side for 12 years. On top of that, we’re preparing for a big move — one that will finally bring Chad and me (and all of our dogs) under the same roof. It’s a lot to carry at once, and I know I need to give myself the space and time to do it all with care.
What this means is that things may look a little different for a few weeks to months. I will still be offering consults, but in a more limited way so I can balance my time. I’m also opening up other ways to work with me — like timed email responses and paid questions — so that I can continue to support you and your dogs even when I can’t take on as many full consults. If you need help, please just reach out by email and we’ll figure out the best way forward. And as I fine-tune these new platforms, I’ll share updates so you’ll always know what’s available.
And while all of that is in the works, keep an eye out — my online store should premiere any day now! It will launch as pickup only, with shipping options coming soon. I’ll be adding more products over time, and I’m so excited to finally share this with you. I truly believe it will make accessing natural products and resources so much easier for you and your animals.
Thank you for letting me open my heart here and process some of these raw emotions. Thank you for honoring my time as I heal, so I can come out stronger on the other side. That’s what Tink always did for me — she taught me, she reminded me of myself, and she filled my world with so much love. I can’t put into words how much we will miss that sweet, beautiful girl.